Somedays, Your Sassiness and Fabulousness Might Not Even Help

And that's ok. It might be your would-be one-year anniversary (true story), and you might cry all day, drink rum, wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants all day, and not feel fabulous or effervescent. Days like this will happen because healing is not linear; it's a continuum. There will be days where you will feel like you got this! and then there will be days where you question the point of getting out of bed.

Today would have been Sleepy and my one-year anniversary. It's really difficult and painful. I guess I knew it would be. I'm thankful that I'm stronger now than I was even just a month ago. I'm strong enough to get through it with minimal emotional damage, but there's still pain, nonetheless. 

I realize I should have made plans with friends and gone out to re-claim the day in order to associate positive memories with the day. That's my advice for you. Instead, I watched Netflix all day and made a half-assed attempt to do homework. I also resorted to online retail therapy. However, I'm also letting myself feel. If I need to cry, I'm just going to cry, and I'm not going to judge myself for wallowing or for my inability to concentrate on homework. There's always tomorrow. Maybe today, I just need to feel sad.

The silver lining: sprite and rum is actually a good combination, and it's still my half birthday.

P.S. Don't use alcohol to solve your problems. Wallow responsibly. Also, you obviously buy colored pencils and an adult coloring book to solve your problems.